Tim, Steve and myself headed north to meet Jon and Dom at Ray's for a night of riding. I saw a quote somewhere that stated "He who flies with balls skimming ground, not fall very far". Because I want to get back into BMX for a little while I felt like going up to Ray's a few more times this winter would help me get my wings back.
I rented the same exact bike as the last time, a 21" Gary Fisher Mullet. The crank was still bent but the layout feels neutral and fits me well. The hard part isn't jumping as much as getting your timing down and last night my timing was so far off we weren't even in the same zip code. My balance was in another county and I was getting frustrated so I headed over to the BMX style track leaving the pole riding to someone else to fall off. It took a half dozen runs around the track along with a few runs down the expert stunt sections to get comfortable again and I started to raise the pace in an attempt to actually get a little more air under my tires.
My friend Jon was smoking me through the initials turns which are critical to helping you get a good launch off the jumps. The harder I pushed the Gary Fisher Mullet the worse thing became. The tires were full knobbies unlike Jons tires that were a fine road tread that hooked up well on the plywood track. Every time I pushed hard the tires would try to roll of the rims so I put more air in. All that did was cause the over inflated tires to lose grip on the plywood. When I did have grip, there was enough flex to allow both tires to grind on the frame and fork.
The one thing about Ray's is the spectator friendliness off the place as all the dividers are only about 36" between the sections. It allows you to see who coming where trails merge and keeps the place feeling open. It didn't take long before things got out of hand and after pushing the envelope too many times, the seam tore along with the possibility of a few ligaments and tendons. In the very 1st turn of that particular track I pushed hard enough to drift all the way to the wall.
Not only did I make it too the wall, I tried to move it out of the way with my body. First the tire hit, then the lower fork leg followed by my leg then a few other parts of my torso. I found it very difficult to steer a bike when you are in a full panic with the right fork leg trying to bust its way through plywood and your butt is sliding down the wall and not sitting on your seat. The tire wedged itself between the jump and the wall finishing off what little chances I had of ever saving it, the bike stopped, I didn't. Somewhere in all the co-motion of my impending face plant I made a valiant attempt to catch myself only to roll my ankle and rag doll myself down the track. That hurt!!
After a few moments of assessing which body parts were detached or relocated I hobbled back on the bike in an attempt to loosen up the ankle on the way to the water fountain. A quick assessment showed lots of tan paint on the forks and a bent front wheel and all body parts accounted for except the right ankle. An hours more riding didn't help matters any as the more I rode, the weaker it got until I could barely even keep the foot planted on the pedals anymore. I gathered up the posse and we headed to McDonald's for some fat food.
By the time we got home the joint was so sore I could barely push the brakes. This morning things were better and I was able to walk without a grimace. I doubt anything is broke but the thing is so stiff that I can't walk without a noticeable limp. Looks like Moto and I will match for a while. I wonder who will heal first?
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Timing and Luck
Went for a ride this morning and was supposed to meet up with a few friends. Luck would have it having a headband on, I thought I had my skid-lid, back to the house. Forgot to get my pump off the road bike, back to the basement. I showed up at the parking lot 10 minutes late and just kept rolling.
A few miles down the road I caught JW and was told he also got there late. I had some work to do so the chase was on, not what I wanted but what the heck. I hit Bolivar and still no sight of any club members, not even the super tourist who plod along enjoying the scenery. Hmmm, maybe the changed the route and JW and I didn't know. Half way down Canal I saw a couple riders up ahead so I upped the pace just high enough to keep my back in check. I get to Zoar and no riders. Hmmm, I know even the slowest of the cyclotourist wouldn't ride this fast. I cranked up the pace and had those 35c knobbies humming along and a few miles later I finally catch BD and CK. We loop back though Bolivar and there goes the rest of the club, the other way. Where the heck were they? Found out later they ad-libbed the route to avoid hills, got a flat and it took them nearly and hour to fix it. That'll teach them to take the pussy path.
I talked the guys into adding on a few extra miles so we looped around Beach City and Brewster before heading back to Navarre. We were sitting in the lot and I made the comment that I wanted to check the sledding hill out and see if it was still good enough to bring Mak down for the afternoon. CK said I should ride down it so I did. I headed up the drive in one of the wheel ruts and was greeted by sleds coming down each rut so I jumped in the middle until they passed. I cautiously rode down the hill thinking about the last time I did this on fat tires and separated my shoulder. Then I tried to climb it, twice, but I kept getting stuck when the rear wheel would dig in and sink. I gave up and headed to McDonalds to harass the seniors who were mooching AARP coffee.
Just as I turned north on Market I saw a group of kids carrying "stuff" down the street. One yelled something and then I recognized them as my Orrville Teammates who were coming back from an auction. They were 3 doors from home and invited me over for the 10 cent tour so I followed them over to Casa Del Huck-Brown.
After the open house I grabbed my bike and noticed the pump was missing. DANG!!! (being polite) That's the 3rd pump I have lost over the past 2 years. Just as I made it up to SR21, a pick up truck started honking at me. I thought "great, another moronic redneck who needs the whole friggin road for his fat butt. When I turned to see what all the fuss was about a guy and his little girl were waving me over to the truck. The guy asked if I was the one just down at the park riding down the sled hill? Great, now I'm going to get heckled for rutting up the hill. I said yes and he proceeded pull out my pump and said "you lost this". SAWEET!!! I thanked him and said that I had just noticed it was missing a few moments ago. Sure am sorry I assumed he was an idiot!
If I had just rode on up to McDonalds and not taken the tour, I wouldn't have gotten my pump back. Thanks Lorena!! I owe you one.
A few miles down the road I caught JW and was told he also got there late. I had some work to do so the chase was on, not what I wanted but what the heck. I hit Bolivar and still no sight of any club members, not even the super tourist who plod along enjoying the scenery. Hmmm, maybe the changed the route and JW and I didn't know. Half way down Canal I saw a couple riders up ahead so I upped the pace just high enough to keep my back in check. I get to Zoar and no riders. Hmmm, I know even the slowest of the cyclotourist wouldn't ride this fast. I cranked up the pace and had those 35c knobbies humming along and a few miles later I finally catch BD and CK. We loop back though Bolivar and there goes the rest of the club, the other way. Where the heck were they? Found out later they ad-libbed the route to avoid hills, got a flat and it took them nearly and hour to fix it. That'll teach them to take the pussy path.
I talked the guys into adding on a few extra miles so we looped around Beach City and Brewster before heading back to Navarre. We were sitting in the lot and I made the comment that I wanted to check the sledding hill out and see if it was still good enough to bring Mak down for the afternoon. CK said I should ride down it so I did. I headed up the drive in one of the wheel ruts and was greeted by sleds coming down each rut so I jumped in the middle until they passed. I cautiously rode down the hill thinking about the last time I did this on fat tires and separated my shoulder. Then I tried to climb it, twice, but I kept getting stuck when the rear wheel would dig in and sink. I gave up and headed to McDonalds to harass the seniors who were mooching AARP coffee.
Just as I turned north on Market I saw a group of kids carrying "stuff" down the street. One yelled something and then I recognized them as my Orrville Teammates who were coming back from an auction. They were 3 doors from home and invited me over for the 10 cent tour so I followed them over to Casa Del Huck-Brown.
After the open house I grabbed my bike and noticed the pump was missing. DANG!!! (being polite) That's the 3rd pump I have lost over the past 2 years. Just as I made it up to SR21, a pick up truck started honking at me. I thought "great, another moronic redneck who needs the whole friggin road for his fat butt. When I turned to see what all the fuss was about a guy and his little girl were waving me over to the truck. The guy asked if I was the one just down at the park riding down the sled hill? Great, now I'm going to get heckled for rutting up the hill. I said yes and he proceeded pull out my pump and said "you lost this". SAWEET!!! I thanked him and said that I had just noticed it was missing a few moments ago. Sure am sorry I assumed he was an idiot!
If I had just rode on up to McDonalds and not taken the tour, I wouldn't have gotten my pump back. Thanks Lorena!! I owe you one.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Night at Ray's
Boy am I sore!! I had a non-fall crash or does that not make sense?
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A group of us went to Ray’s Indoor Mountain Bike Park in Cleveland
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The moment we arrived we were greeted by fire and rescue. One possible broken and ankle and another knocked out cold. The night was looking wild already! We got signed in and I headed to one section called the pump track to warm up. This portion of track is full of 18”-24” rollers that when your bars and pedals are pumped up and down the surfaces, you can accelerate without pedaling and attain speeds almost too fast to make the turns. 5 laps around this 100’ long track and you’ll be breathing like a marathon runner and not have pedaled once.
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After that I spent an hour riding around everywhere I could. I was making a lap on the cross country course and speeding along on the outer perimeter trail and flew over a jump. The initial part of the landing had logs laid down as the surface, sort of like the wall of a log cabin. My rear wheel kicked up on one of the logs and my left foot came off the pedal and hit the ground. I was moving at a pretty good clip and my foot planted securely to the floor and then my Achilles was met with full force of the pedal that I just fell off of. The impact made things worse and now I was out of control, both feet off the pedals.
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Being that I was standing up on a bike with the seat as low as it could go and leaning back a little, the laws of gravity finally caught up to me. I fell backwards onto the rear tire; which like in the cartoon treadmill, shot me straight into the seat while still going close to 20 mph. So here I am, sitting on my tire, the seat embedded into my gut, my ass acting like a bicycle brake locking up the rear tire and my groin smashed into the frame skidding down the track waiting for impending doom.
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I ended skidding to a stop, still on 2 wheels, unable to breath, my buns were burnt from friction, my Achilles tendon had teeth marks in it and I was suffering from a mild case of testiculous smashenitous. I walked over and leaned against the wall trying not to look like I was going to cry or look too sissified!!! A few moments later, I was in the lounge area taking a break waiting for Tim to bring my truck keys so I could change bikes.
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About 15 minutes later I was back at it. The rest of the night was uneventful, thank the Lord!
Friday, January 1, 2010
Happy New Year
I got both of my rides in today. It almost didn't happen though because it's Ohio, it is cold and I had no ambition to go outside and freeze. I kept coming up with every excuse I could to not do my 1st ride of the year and just stay inside like a pansy. I made the mistake of looking at my email and saw an invite from Dr. Joust to the Cleveland Area Mountainbike Associations Annual Urban Assault in Downtown Brownstown, aka Cleveland. Hadn't done it in a couple years and this year it was a poker run.
After much procrastinating I pulled my head out of my azz and decided to go. Met the gang at high noon. The weather really sucked for a road ride but being on the Mtb wouldn't have been too bad but the jacket I took decided to make my day by allowing thew zipper to come apart. Luckily I had a spare but it wasn't 100% windproof or warm. The temps were in the low 20's and the wind was howling off Lake Erie bringing in some snow with it and was pushing the waves over the breakwalls. I paid for my poker hand and headed out with Dr. Joust and his cronies.
The check points were throughout the downtown and the surrounding area and you pulled your own cards. I found it weird as the cards had numbers all the way up to 39+. I found out later you matched the number on the card you pulled with the number on a board that had a real car underneath it. Clever way to get your own hand and score yourself without being able to cheat. I had a pair of 6's didn't get me squat!
Even though the weather truly did suck and kept most men at home watching one ball sports, there were about a dozen women who showed up and rode. While the temps and snow didn't make it bad, the wind made it interesting. No 200 lb man should have to pedal down hill!!
Made it home around 3pm, got a hot shower, downed a half bag of chips and headed out on the 640. I only had time for 30 minutes so I headed down the rail bed to harass the local ATV clan. The locals who drive it for fun in their trucks turned it into a long ribbon of sheet ice so I opted to head for the weeds where at least there was some type of friction to be found beneath the layers of snow. It didn't help I was using a road legal tire set on the bike that had low and wide knobs that would have trouble finding traction on anything less than a groomed trail. I wasn't the only one out, there were 6 ATV's out playing in the snow too. Unfortunately, time always flies when you are having fun.
I no more than got my helmet off when I received a call that George was crossing the county line. We left to meet them for dinner which is always a good time.
Another long day, 364 more to go.
After much procrastinating I pulled my head out of my azz and decided to go. Met the gang at high noon. The weather really sucked for a road ride but being on the Mtb wouldn't have been too bad but the jacket I took decided to make my day by allowing thew zipper to come apart. Luckily I had a spare but it wasn't 100% windproof or warm. The temps were in the low 20's and the wind was howling off Lake Erie bringing in some snow with it and was pushing the waves over the breakwalls. I paid for my poker hand and headed out with Dr. Joust and his cronies.
The check points were throughout the downtown and the surrounding area and you pulled your own cards. I found it weird as the cards had numbers all the way up to 39+. I found out later you matched the number on the card you pulled with the number on a board that had a real car underneath it. Clever way to get your own hand and score yourself without being able to cheat. I had a pair of 6's didn't get me squat!
Even though the weather truly did suck and kept most men at home watching one ball sports, there were about a dozen women who showed up and rode. While the temps and snow didn't make it bad, the wind made it interesting. No 200 lb man should have to pedal down hill!!
Made it home around 3pm, got a hot shower, downed a half bag of chips and headed out on the 640. I only had time for 30 minutes so I headed down the rail bed to harass the local ATV clan. The locals who drive it for fun in their trucks turned it into a long ribbon of sheet ice so I opted to head for the weeds where at least there was some type of friction to be found beneath the layers of snow. It didn't help I was using a road legal tire set on the bike that had low and wide knobs that would have trouble finding traction on anything less than a groomed trail. I wasn't the only one out, there were 6 ATV's out playing in the snow too. Unfortunately, time always flies when you are having fun.
I no more than got my helmet off when I received a call that George was crossing the county line. We left to meet them for dinner which is always a good time.
Another long day, 364 more to go.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
End of a Generation
Christmas Eve Grandma Anna's heart suffered a massive attack that knocked most of the wind that remained from her sails. About 24 hours later the heart that was as big as the great outdoors couldn't pump no more and the Angels came a calling and took her home.
I remember the times when I was in school I would ride my bicycle from Alliance to her home in Pattersonville, Carroll County. Stop by the golf course where she worked and mooch a lunch before continuing on to her home to mow her lawn and spend the night before riding home.
I remember going to Carrollton to go shopping and walking through the old stores with their hardwood floors. I remember her own dry goods store she had in Minerva and all the great family get togethers at their home in the Carroll County hills. Sunday mornings were spent in the front pew at the Mt. Zion Church with her while she waited her turn to fill the air with music from the organ or piano.
Going to a service or calling hours for anyone is no fun, going for a family member is even worse. This is the 2nd time I have carried a casket to the grave site but this time it was different, I was carrying my Grandma. Carrying a casket to the grave then watching it being lowered is an entirely different emotion. When the top is placed on the vault you can't help but feel an immense sadness. She now rests beside Grandpa Ayers back in Freeburg where it all started.
I have many many great memories of her and even though the Angels came and took her away, they left her memories here to give us a sense of comfort in that we were (are) loved by a very special woman.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
The negotiations
Johan: Hello, Johan Bruyneel, Team Radio Shack
Michael: Hi, this is Michael Gorman, you were supposed to get back with me about my contract for 2010 with the new Radio Shack Team. I was supposed to help out on the spring classics.
Johan: Um, yeah, Sorry Michael, Um, I forgot.
Michael: I‘d just like to know where we stand before I break my contract with Orrville Cycling and Fitness.
Johan: Well, it doesn’t look very promising at the moment, we just signed Steegman’s for the spring classics and the Tour De France.
Michael: So, what are you trying to say?
Johan: Um, we have no money left to sign you on with the team.
Michael: Isn’t Lance racing for free again?
Johan: No, he is a paid rider on this team, that free ride was just with Astana to prove he was still at the top.
Michael: Maybe you are paying him too much?
Johan: NO, he is getting what he deserves, not a penny less.
Michael: Are you sure it’s a money issue and you‘re not blowing smoke up my…?
Johan: Too be honest? There are no money issues, there are too many issues with you.
Michael: Issues with me? Like what?
Johan: For starters? We’re not getting you a box of donuts before every race.
Michael: Darn, what a crock, bagels are tough and doughy, you waste too much energy trying to chew them.
Johan: And the we are not replacing the cokes with Mountain Dew. That’s all we need is a bunch of nuts racing elbow to elbow hopped up on caffeine!
Michael: Why not, caffeine isn’t on the banned substance list!!
Johan: For get it! And another thing, Luigi refuses to make fried chicken, pizza and beer battered fish for pre or post race meals.
Michael: WHAT? Those are staple foods! Are you guys a bunch of Panera Bread Panzies or what? I’ll bet Ekimov doesn’t eat that stuff.
Johan: We eat to perform on this team, not for pleasure.
Michael: How can you perform eating that stuff?
Johan: Now you know why you got you butt kicked at Nationals.
Michael: HEY, I’m allowed a bad day every now and then.
Johan: Look Pal, you had a bad year too! Besides, we don’t have any “Clydesdale” equipment, you need to lose weight. You’ll crush our wheel sets and bend out seat rails.
Michael: BULL, I’m just big boned!
Johan: Look Pork Chop, Andre the Giant was big boned, 195 is too big.
Michael: What about Magnus Backstead?
Johan: He’s good, you’re old. Besides, he has a cool name too.
Michael: Some Dude calls me the Gorminator? I have no clue why either, but it sounds cool.
Johan: Gorminator? Sound like something a flimflam man would sell for $19.95 and they’ll throw in a 2nd for free if you call now!!!
Michael: Don’t quit your day job pal, the crickets are chirping.
Hello? Hello? The punk hung up on me! Hmm, 9 o’clock, I still have time to swing past Liebermann’s Bakery for a cream stick before the club ride. I wonder if Bob Baker wants me to pick one up for him too? Ah man, my seat is bent again….
Michael: Hi, this is Michael Gorman, you were supposed to get back with me about my contract for 2010 with the new Radio Shack Team. I was supposed to help out on the spring classics.
Johan: Um, yeah, Sorry Michael, Um, I forgot.
Michael: I‘d just like to know where we stand before I break my contract with Orrville Cycling and Fitness.
Johan: Well, it doesn’t look very promising at the moment, we just signed Steegman’s for the spring classics and the Tour De France.
Michael: So, what are you trying to say?
Johan: Um, we have no money left to sign you on with the team.
Michael: Isn’t Lance racing for free again?
Johan: No, he is a paid rider on this team, that free ride was just with Astana to prove he was still at the top.
Michael: Maybe you are paying him too much?
Johan: NO, he is getting what he deserves, not a penny less.
Michael: Are you sure it’s a money issue and you‘re not blowing smoke up my…?
Johan: Too be honest? There are no money issues, there are too many issues with you.
Michael: Issues with me? Like what?
Johan: For starters? We’re not getting you a box of donuts before every race.
Michael: Darn, what a crock, bagels are tough and doughy, you waste too much energy trying to chew them.
Johan: And the we are not replacing the cokes with Mountain Dew. That’s all we need is a bunch of nuts racing elbow to elbow hopped up on caffeine!
Michael: Why not, caffeine isn’t on the banned substance list!!
Johan: For get it! And another thing, Luigi refuses to make fried chicken, pizza and beer battered fish for pre or post race meals.
Michael: WHAT? Those are staple foods! Are you guys a bunch of Panera Bread Panzies or what? I’ll bet Ekimov doesn’t eat that stuff.
Johan: We eat to perform on this team, not for pleasure.
Michael: How can you perform eating that stuff?
Johan: Now you know why you got you butt kicked at Nationals.
Michael: HEY, I’m allowed a bad day every now and then.
Johan: Look Pal, you had a bad year too! Besides, we don’t have any “Clydesdale” equipment, you need to lose weight. You’ll crush our wheel sets and bend out seat rails.
Michael: BULL, I’m just big boned!
Johan: Look Pork Chop, Andre the Giant was big boned, 195 is too big.
Michael: What about Magnus Backstead?
Johan: He’s good, you’re old. Besides, he has a cool name too.
Michael: Some Dude calls me the Gorminator? I have no clue why either, but it sounds cool.
Johan: Gorminator? Sound like something a flimflam man would sell for $19.95 and they’ll throw in a 2nd for free if you call now!!!
Michael: Don’t quit your day job pal, the crickets are chirping.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
The Chapel Series
Every summer for the past 3 or more years the Chapel in Green has hosted a criterium series to raise money for charities and ministries. Only one member of the church races and the rest or volunteers. They do an awesome job and every summer I can’t wait to get back there.
This summer was no different and I had planned to do something different, race my single speed in at least one race which I did. The race went well and I felt competitive right up to the last 100 yards when I ran out of gear! Seems like the sprint was a little faster than I anticipated and had nothing to give finishing 8th.
There was one disappointing thing about the series in that the B field have a couple morons in it that couldn’t keep their mouths shut. I found that being foul mouthed on church property during a church sanctioned event to be very distasteful and disrespectful.
The very next week I addressed the B field and asked them to respect the church, the promoters and fellow racers. It didn’t work, the same guys were at it again. You would think that team mates would get a long a little better but word coming in from the other B riders was the same as the previous week. If you read this and know these morons, let them know they don’t do a very good job of representing their sponsors or their team.
This summer was no different and I had planned to do something different, race my single speed in at least one race which I did. The race went well and I felt competitive right up to the last 100 yards when I ran out of gear! Seems like the sprint was a little faster than I anticipated and had nothing to give finishing 8th.
There was one disappointing thing about the series in that the B field have a couple morons in it that couldn’t keep their mouths shut. I found that being foul mouthed on church property during a church sanctioned event to be very distasteful and disrespectful.
The very next week I addressed the B field and asked them to respect the church, the promoters and fellow racers. It didn’t work, the same guys were at it again. You would think that team mates would get a long a little better but word coming in from the other B riders was the same as the previous week. If you read this and know these morons, let them know they don’t do a very good job of representing their sponsors or their team.
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